Sinful Sunday: Getting screwed

I'm no longer paying for sex. Last week I canceled my match.com subscription despite the fact that I was getting f***ed the entire time I was using it. Unfortunately it was by them. When I joined I signed up for the monthly billing. The plan was I'd only stay on a month or two and then come back later if necessary when there were all new people. Instead, they charged me for 6 months which is over $100. Anyone who signs up for one month at a time will be glad they did; the well runs dry within a couple of weeks. Not only did I not want to spend that much, but I can't imagine the agony of 6 months of continuous online dating. Yes, I am calling my credit card company to have them remove the excess charge.

Actually I think they should pay me. I am young, attractive, smart, childless, ex-husband-free, and unusual. Non-paying members browsing the site are more likely to sign up the greater the pool of interesting attractive women that are there. And from what I hear, the number of women compared to the number of men is not good.

Secondly, I did a lot of work while I was on there. My profile got over 1,000 views in about 6 weeks, and I received scores of emails and winks. I tried to politely respond to all the mail unless it was obviously a cut and paste job. The winks I initially tried to respond too, but they were so numerous it was pointless. The first couple of days on there took up, literally, hours of my time.

Lastly, I didn't get much out of it. I met two very interesting, cool guys for a total of 4 dates. They were fun but didn't go anywhere. The vast majority of men who wrote me were inappropriate or obviously hadn't read my profile. Most were too old. The older guys had a tendency to imply that I should like them because they had a lot of money and know how to "appreciate a woman." Insulting. Many other men wrote me and mentioned nothing about my profile, but instead told me how pretty and sexy I was. Insulting. I suppose they like books with lots of pictures, too. Believe me, I love men telling me I am "pretty"* and sexy, but not from someone I barely know who is blatantly ignoring the rest of my profile which I worked really hard on. Other reasons I was not interested in someone included: religious affiliation, cliche-filled profile, boring, lived far away, or looking for something I obviously am not, like a "normal girl," someone who, "lives every day to it's fullest" or "wants to be pampered."

I am still using the free site, okcupid and I have met at least three also very interesting, cool guys (although I already knew 2 from myspace). I honestly find the free site more fruitful with dozens more unusual, intelligent people than match.com and it is much more fun.

Nevertheless, I think I will be taking a break from contacting people. Online dating allows someone like myself who is looking for a very specific kind of person to skim hundreds of ads to find the one or two who look good on paper. But then you have to get to know them in real life to know if you really could see yourself with them. This happens through an evil thing called, "dating."

Meeting a stranger for a date is the human equivalent of shipping a panda bear from one continent to another in hopes that it will mate with Li Li. They just throw them in the cage together and watch. I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable and uninspired so I'm picking up my bamboo and going to escape to sweet, sweet freedom.

Wish me luck as I return to the wild. I can feel something already.

*I once had a man say I was, "beautiful". That was awesome!

BONUS for the curious- Here is the main body of my profile:
It takes a long time to get to know me. But once I trust someone I like to be as open and honest with them as possible. I may be quiet or reserved at first, but once I get comfortable, I'm curious, silly, talkative, flirtatious and frank. I have a dry and nonsensical sense of humor (and sometime crud or crass, I admit, EXAMPLE DELETED BY MATCH.COM STAFF). I love discussing controversial ideas and bringing up things that may make people uncomfortable. This vegetarian wants to slay your sacred cow. Once I have my facts I can take a very passionate stand, but never a close-minded one.

I love animals and, as a means of preventing their suffering, I am a committed vegetarian. So the 5th Annual Festival of Taxidermy and Tanning probably *won't* be a good place to meet me.

I am also a part of the growing skeptic culture. We are people who value evaluating scientific claims by looking at actual facts. So if on your date you tell me you have ESP, I may just whip out a deck of cards and test your claim!

I'd like to meet an intellectual, eccentric, patient, animal lover with whom I can explore new places and ideas, great food, and unbounded silliness. Curiosity, love of learning, creativity and critical thinking is a must. It's important that you be non-religious, non-theistic, and non-dogmatic.

You absolutely love and respect animals, and recognize them as beings who deserve our compassion (not necessarily a vegetarian). You understand that I need to spend a lot of quality conversation time with my cats. Perhaps you, too, have a tendency to talk to animals in peculiar voices!